9 things you say before you have kids

It’s easy to have opinions about life with babies and toddlers before you start your own family. Life with young children can’t possibly be as demanding as they say and your kids are going to be perfect anyway...

1. On sleep

“I can sleep for ages, so I’m sure my kids will be excellent sleepers too!”

2. On whining

“You just need to be consistent: no should ALWAYS mean no and you should simply turn a deaf ear to their whining.”

3. On bribes

“I will never bribe my kids with sweets or toys to get them to do something.”

4. On table manners

“The earlier you start the better. I’ll teach my kids good table manners from the moment we start weaning.”

5. On the relationship

“We won’t be one of those couples who only talk about their kids; we’ll still be the same people we’ve always been, with our own interests and opinions.”

6. On sex

“Babies and toddlers spend a lot of time asleep, so we’ll get plenty of opportunities for intimacy.”

7. On cleaning

“There’s no excuse for a messy home just because you’ve got kids. For heaven’s sake, just teach them to put away their toys and help you tidy up!”

8. On personal grooming

“I don’t understand people who let themselves go as soon as they have kids. How hard can it be to take a shower, put on some makeup and pick out something smart to wear?”

9. On crying

“Can’t you just tell your kid to be quiet?”